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Counselling

Why consider conselling?

All patients of GCRM are offered the opportunity to make use of the professional and confidential counselling service available. It is recognised by our team that infertility is a major life crisis which can arouse very painful feelings which may, at times, be difficult to contain. It is also important for us to acknowledge how stressful fertility treatment itself can be. For these reasons, the counselling service is available to all patients before, during and for up to two months after treatment.

The experience of infertility is unique and deeply personal and can arouse the most powerful feelings - anger, sadness, envy, guilt, worthlessness. The feelings of not being able to have a child in an ordinary way, or the fear of it not happening at all, can make us feel that our whole future and sense of purpose is being threatened. Relationships which are normally loving and secure can feel strained, often because each partner is dealing with the situation differently. Although this is very normal, it can lead to further feelings of isolation.

Most of us cope with difficulties and crises in our lives with the support of family members and friends. However, if, for example, our friends or family members are having their own children, this can create all kinds of undesired feelings. Putting on a very brave face when attending other people’s joyful events can be very difficult. Or, it may be that very caring friends/family members cannot understand the level of distress you are feeling or they may feel ill equipped to help. Often, those experiencing infertility will "protect" loved ones from the kinds of feelings which are aroused, leading to a greater sense of loneliness and distance.

Sometimes loss of fertility or treatment itself can cause feelings about past events to re-emerge. Counselling can help to look at why this might be happening and to find ways to prevent them becoming overwhelming.

Infertility and the process of going through treatment can make everything seem out of control and can diminish your normal coping and decision making skills. Counselling can help to support you through the investigative and treatment procedures and to strengthen your ability to explore options and to make the best decision for your future. Counselling can help too in supporting you if treatment has failed or when there is a need to grieve, if you have suffered a loss.

For women or couples who are considering having treatment with donor eggs or sperm, it is important that all the implications of this treatment have been explored both for the short and long term for the couple and for the potential child. Anyone considering this treatment will be encouraged to meet with the counsellor.

What Can I Expect?
A counselling session will normally last for 1 hour. You would be seen in a comfortable and private room at the GCRM. You can make an appointment at any stage prior to the treatment starting, during treatment and after treatment. Access to the counselling service is free, once you have paid for your treatment, and for up to two months after your treatment. Counselling sessions are chargeable at all other times.

It may be that a member of staff will suggest counselling. This will be offered to all patients and is not a sign that she/he thinks you are not coping. Counselling is an opportunity to talk about difficult feelings at a time of great emotional upheaval. It is a "healthy option", not a sign of weakness.

How to make contact with the counsellor :-
You can contact the Counsellor, ISOBEL O’NEILL directly on 07858 262274.

Isobel O'Neill has had many years experience in this field and is a member of the Executive Committee of British Infertility Counselling Association.